Now I see it — indeed, the members of totalitarian societies do not often realize how bizarre their world is. I emigrated from Russia in 2014, being 22 years old fresh graduate, basically same day the crisis in Ukraine has started, and never followed state politics.

Since then, I spent less than 2 months cumulative in Russia at most — occasional 1-2 weeks long visits to parents over Holiday periods. Essentially, I have been self-isolating from the Russian info-sphere, being indifferent to most events and affairs. I never thought about modern Russia being (or transforming into) a legit authoritarian state, bearing Medvedev’s 2010s in mind.

The catastrophe of the last week was a shock. I watched the 21st of February meeting. Are comic book villains and their minions real? Essentially, I witnessed my mother state rolling back into 1937 in less than an hour. Even then, I could not foresee further events.

This is an unholy war, it is ugly on every ground, and all possible (if any were) excuses and arguments are off the table. As a citizen of Russia, and, more importantly, as culturally Russian, I see it as a crime. Being a chronic skeptic usually, I refuse second opinions to be valid here.

I cannot address to people in Ukraine and to my numerous relatives there. There are not many words, yet even if I could — what are they good for now? However, I can speak to fellow Russians. This is a personified madness and a shame.